we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
