margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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