I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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