Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need to calm my uterus...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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