no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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