i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
