you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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