I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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