Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Your penis caused this!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize