Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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