I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
