Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
