God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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