I can text with my tongue
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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