my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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