I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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