think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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