I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I look better un-naked...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
