just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
