its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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