I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
