I think I am morally bankrupt
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
