just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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