there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
