Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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