i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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