so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize