You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize