this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
did you just send me my own nude
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize