I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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