dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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