guys are not supposed to queef...right?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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