Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
