Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
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Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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