i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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