hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
