I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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