The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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