Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
