forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
