DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
