Me. At least after what I've been through.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
