I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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