It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
