I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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