I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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