I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize