Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
