I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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