I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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