yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
