"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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