I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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