did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
