I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
