Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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