Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
