We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
