so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize