whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
